May 21

Choose Your Own Misadventure

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I have embarked on brocations of epic proportions – from the shores of Scotland all the way to the coast of Cuba. But between the foam parties and near-nuclear warfare, many of my lesser known misadventures have happened right here at home.

Take a look back at how everyday brocassions have become some of my most memorable misadventures. Then, comment with the tale that leaves you wanting more. You just might see it in my next video reenactment. 

DADDY DEAREST

One morning I arrived home to find my mailbox bursting with letters. Turns out, centuries of seduction had landed me with more than 10,000 kids – now looking for their long-lost pops. Seeing an opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons, I invited the kids over for a little meet and greet. And thus the first Father’s Day was born. They got acquainted with their dear old dad, and I got enough loot to last a lifetime.  

NEWTON'S LAW OF UNIVERSAL BETRAYAL

I was having a little backyard BBQ with my old pals Isaac Newton and John Locke. After taking down one too many ales, Newt fell over the fire pit and into an apple tree. As the fruit knocked him on the noggin, I yelled out, “Hey, Newt, bet that’s gravity.” Of course, Nasty Newt marketed the idea as his own; but Locke testifies that it was all mine. Litigation continues to this day.

BETTER CALL PAUL

It was mid April of 1775, and my fellow patriots and I had heard rumors of an impending British invasion. Being hard to detect and ever so clever, I was assigned as lookout. But as the night dragged on, I heard the local tavern calling my name; and, of course, I had no choice but to answer. One pint led to another and Paul Revere was forced to take the reins.

There you have it, brothers and sisters, a glimpse into my glorious – and often precarious – past. Want to learn more?

Don’t forget to comment below with the broccasion you want to see come to life.

 

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Comments

  • Thom Schwabauer 28/05/2019 1:39pm (2 years ago)

    I'd like to hear about the time you helped NASA and Gene Kranz land the Eagle on the moon.

  • Richard Crouch 24/05/2019 8:18pm (2 years ago)

    I will go with a Punch in hand and hear about fathers day.

  • Neal kays 24/05/2019 7:48pm (2 years ago)

    Better call Paul for sure! I mean you're practically the father of our country or at least stepfather.Punch for President [of the Bro-Hood]

  • Tyler E Garcia 23/05/2019 1:11pm (2 years ago)

    Newtons law! Thats funny right there!

  • Michael D McSpadden 23/05/2019 6:58am (2 years ago)

    I vote for number one. Fathersday is right aroind the corner. I miss my dad may he rest in peace.

  • thomas brabec 22/05/2019 7:20pm (2 years ago)

    And I will bet Isaac didn't even bring his own sticks.

  • Anonymous 22/05/2019 6:32pm (2 years ago)

    Father's Day.

  • Kari 22/05/2019 4:55pm (2 years ago)

    Daddy for sure, brother!

  • tim cleary 22/05/2019 1:16pm (2 years ago)

    Great photos and commentary.

  • Paul Frederick 22/05/2019 10:53am (2 years ago)

    Better Call Paul is my choice.

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